As you may remember, Marcus had asked me out on a second date, and I was still talking to Matthew.
Marcus decided to mix it up the second time around. Instead of an evening dinner date he went for an old classic; the cinema. He wanted to pick me and take me (which I found very gentlemanly) so we arranged to go one afternoon a week or so after the first date.
Again, we had a great time. Well I thought we did anyway; I can’t really speak for him. We went for a coffee and a bite to eat before the film started. Again the conversation flowed and we laughed while we sat outside in the crisp autumn air sipping our warm drinks and hearty soup. The film was enjoyable and we giggled uncontrollably together when he accidentally spilt popcorn all over me, probably much to the rest of the cinema’s annoyance. It was another great date.
Unfortunately I had a stinking cold so when it came to the goodbye at the end, a peck on the cheek was as many germs as I was willing to transfer. In retrospect if I hadn’t had a cold I would have braved it and gone for a kiss on the lips. And his eyes we fascinating to me; this beautiful deep hazel I just wanted to stare into.
All I can say now is thank god I didn’t.
By now with Matthew we’ve gotten to the point where I’m hinting quite heavily that I’d like to meet him in person. I don’t see the problem with dating more than one guy at once because:
- One, two, or even three dates is not enough time to get to know someone enough to know if you want to be in a relationship with them, AND
- How are you going to know who you really like if you don’t have at least one other to compare them to in the same process?
So, a week after date numero dos with Marcus, whilst still conversing with him over the phone, I went on a date with Matthew.
This was yesterday.
He made the effort, chose the pub to go for a drink in, and arranged a time with me.
I’m not going to lie. When I arrived there, it was probably the most nervous I’d ever been for a date. Purely because unbeknown to Matthew, I’d been hoping this would eventually happen for a while. My legs were shaking when I arrived, purely from the pressure I had built it up to be in my head. That, coupled with a pair of heels spelt out almost certain catastrophe for me.
Really though, Matthew had been late off the starting block. In the time Marcus had taken to chat to me, move the conversation to phone, and go on two separate dates, this was the first out-of-work meeting I was having with Matthew after 6 weeks of messaging. But I had to know. I’d spent so long investing into meeting him so I could figure out if I genuinely liked him, I couldn’t not go. If for nothing other than my own piece of mind.
It in fact turned out to be a good date also (again as far as I could tell from my end). The conversation flowed, and within a couple of minutes I felt at ease. I’m so pleased I invested the effort to meet him because I think I misjudged Matthew. I thought he was super confident, perhaps knew he was attractive and was maybe even, dare I say it, a bit boring. But talking to him in person was much better than it’d been via message. I wasn’t sure if he’d picked up on the flirting via text, or the banter. In person however he showed himself to be much more playful, and a good laugh. His smile was still to die for.
We went our separate ways with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Within twenty minutes of the date being over he had already messaged, and wished me a nice evening, sending me a fun picture of him carving pumpkins. ‘This is a good sign’, I thought.
Meanwhile that same evening, I was also messaging Marcus, who had been away that weekend. By this point, I wasn’t sure about either of them. Both had been great on dates. Marcus had the lead, but both guys possessed the qualities I was looking for in a man. They both fitted the bill.
After only one meeting with Matthew and two with Marcus, I still felt it was too early to tell if I wanted anything with either of them, and decided I was going to play it by ear. I just wanted to see where they’d go, no pressure. I still feel scared about opening up my heart fully to someone else for fear of it being the wrong thing, or getting my heart broken like last time. I just wanted to take things slow.
But no. Now that’s all changed.