It’s been over two years now since me and my ex became no more. A lot has changed. All for the better. And I’m finally at a stage where I can just let it go. How do I know? I hear you say…
Well. About a month ago now I was going to a wedding. It was a beautiful Saturday morning and I was taking my leisurely time in getting ready. The wedding wasn’t until the early afternoon and I had plenty of time so decided I’d pop out to grab myself one of the towns famous sausage rolls for breakfast (I mean who doesn’t love a freshly baked, warm, gooey, sausage roll right!?). It was only down the road. ‘Na I wont bother getting ready’ I thought to myself.
I ditched the PJ’s, grabbed the nearest clothes next to me, and went out the door. No shower. No make-up. Hadn’t brushed my hair. I’m not even 100% sure I had brushed my teeth at this point.
So there I am, strolling down the street past the flat where I used to live, heading to the butchers, looking a state. And who should pull up next to me on their bicycle?
My ex’s dad.
I was in momentary shock, to the point where it took me a minute to register who it even was. I hadn’t seen him to speak to since the day my ex walked out of the door.
I love his parents. I Still do. We’d messaged briefly on facebook a couple of months earlier when I had clocked him in the local supermarket car park and had failed to go over. We both had been afraid of the same thing it turned out; whether the other would want to talk to us. So there and then we had promised each other that if we ever saw each other again we wouldn’t hesitate to go over and start a conversation.
So that’s exactly what he did; and he couldn’t have timed it better. I mean hey, when’s better than when I smell like last night, don’t even know if I’ve brushed, and appearance-wise am definitely not at my best? Sure, come over! I had hoped that if I’d ever run into my ex or his parents I would have been looking fantastic, feeling fantastic, wearing my favourite clothes, with a full face of make up. I had thought so many times about what I would say to them. I’d agonized over whether to ask them how my ex was and still hadn’t known what was best to do. How much information to divulge for fear of my ex hearing through the grapevine about me.
So in one sarcastic respect, he couldn’t have timed it better. But in the other respect, it was the best thing that could have happened to me…
I had no time to think. Seeing him that morning with me looking like that had NEVER for one second even crossed my mind, and that’s exactly why it was so great. I don’t think it could have gone better.
After that momentary shock, I smiled broadly at him, and embraced him in a loving hug. He willingly hugged me back, and I immediately felt at ease. All that worry, all that time wondering if they even still liked me after I left their lives; it all just vanished. There were no hard feelings. We talked for a good while, and exchanged a bit of information about each other. I enquired about his wife, and heard how well she was getting on, to which I was so happy for her. I bit the bullet and without even having time to care, asked how my ex was. I told him how I only had loving thoughts for his son and wished him well. Then we moved onto a new topic with ease and I got across how I’m happy. We hugged goodbye, and I went to get my sausage roll.
Looking back I’m so pleased I did ask about my ex. Because at the end of the day, who cares? Whatever gets back to him won’t impact on me, so why not show kindness towards him and pass on my best wishes.
I never understood how forgiveness is really for the forgiver until that moment. It sets you free.
I’d let go. I knew it as soon as I’d said goodbye to his dad, because I walked away with a beaming grin of happiness on my face. I went home, ate my breakfast, had a shower, and got on with my day without even giving the encounter a second thought.
That’s when I knew I’d finally, fully moved on.