How NOT to chat to a woman online – Part 2

Hi Everyone, hope you’re enjoying your evening!

Thought I’d interrupt the flow of the blog posts to give you another much anticipated dose of ridiculous and humorous things people have written to me as their opening lines. I honestly don’t understand the mindset of man zombies. It seems like these people are incapable of having a normal conversation with a woman.

Be prepared to potentially react with “WHAT!?”s, “Oh My God”s, and whole lot of “Oh Dear”s!


Man Zombie 11: “Hey, do you like feet?”

Me: “Of all the things you could have asked me you decide to see if I like feet? Thanks but no thanks, good luck.”

Man Zombie 11: “Guess you don’t then”

Man Zombie 12: “Hey, I know I’m not your type but can we talk? Please?”

So…. you’re already telling me I’m not your type, and then you’re begging me to talk to you? Good start man zombie, good start…

Me: “No thanks”

Man Zombie 12: “Im sorry”

Errr why? I don’t get it.

Two hours later…

Man Zombie 12: “Ur Amazing”

Oh dear lord.

Man Zombie 13: “Do you like black panties?”


Man Zombie 14: “Do you swallow”

Me: “WOW ok you’re a douche, good luck with that.”

Man Zombie 14: “Was a joke”

Me: “Oh, and I’ve reported you.”

Man Zombie 15: “What’s the difference between me and a pull out sofa? The Sofa pulls out and I don’t. Do you want me to show you?”

Friend: “Oh, well, If you don’t pull out…no”

Man Zombie 16: “Wanna see a thick 11inch? :)”

Me: “Like they exist!”

Well that’s all for now folks, if I get any more funny ones I’ll let you know :-). Happy Saturday, thanks for reading and please feel free to comment below.


Until the next time,

Countrygirl x







One comment

  1. egbertstarr · January 10, 2016

    somehow i want to believe that these man zombies have some sense of self-satire..

    Liked by 1 person

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