Dating Lesson #7-Dangerous Liaisons

Well hello there…

So let me tell you all about how a date could have happened but he freaked me out, and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there, I’ll tell you why his texting made me block his account.

Ok enough with the Will Smith (brownie points if you got that!) Hmmm maybe I should do a rhyming rap date blog…watch this space!

I shall call him…Valentino. A charmer to begin with, he looked quite nice, he was smiling (we know how I like that), he had himself for his profile picture in a tux posing like James bond, and he was a bit different to what I’d usually go for (by that I mean he had quite a few tattoo’s). But hey, I’m open, not going to rule someone out for tattoo’s if I can help it, so we got to talking.

And it started off quite well.

Before we begin, I should just day this dating book I’ve read in the past said to me that in order to get more than just the weirdo’s messaging you, that I had to be proactive and message people first; they like that as it’s usually the man who has to make the first move. So I sent the first message and was trying to be flirty and mysterious…


Me: “Hi Valentino, I see you’ve been checking out my profile…so tell me, did you like what you saw? :-)”

Valentino: “Hey, yes I did very much, but how do I get to meet you face to face?”

Me: “You do what most people do if they want to meet, you ask me out on a date”

Valentino: “Would you do me the honour of going out for a drink with me?”

Me: “Sure, here’s my number if you wish to call me to arrange it”

He never called, but texting began immediately.

Valentino:”So did you like what you saw too? Am I the kind of guy you go for? What attracts you to a man?”

Me: “Yes I did, and no I guess my friends would say you’re not usually my type, if I even have a type! I like a man who has ambition, is loving, funny, and knows how to treat a lady. What attracts you to a woman?”

Valentino: “Confidence and a nice bum doesn’t hurt”

Alarm bell…so he’s only bothered about superficial things? Lets dig deeper…

Me: “Anything else?”

Valentino: “And sexy eyes”

Hmmm maybe there isn’t anything more to this guy…

We’d arranged a day and time to meet by this point, which was a couple of days away.

Valentino: “Can I see some more pictures of you?”

Me: “Are my four on Match not enough? It’s not long to wait then you can meet me in person”

Valentino: “So have you dated a lot of guys? Why are you single?”

Wow he’s to the point

Me: “I’ve been on some dates yes but I haven’t yet found someone I really click with, and can see it progressing with. I don’t like to lead people on if we’re not compatible. I’m not in a rush to find someone, I’m happy as I am but if someone came along that would be nice. And you?”

Valentino: “I’ve been messed around quite a bit so same really”

Oh ok, maybe he’s just trying to make sure I’m not going to mess him around too

The next day the questions continue, but there’s no flow of conversation. It’s all just messages about attractiveness and dates:

Valentino: “So have any guys made it to the third date?”

Me: “Unfortunately not no, like I said I don’t see the point of carrying on seeing someone if there’s no chemistry.”

Valentino: “Are you hard to please or something?”

Whooooaaa there boy! Crikey is that an insult or simply a question? Ok just play it cool…

Me: “No not at all, but I know what I’m looking for. Never know maybe you’ll be the first… :-)”

I later realised this was the worst thing I could have possibly said! When I told my friend later that day about how I was texting this guy but how I wasn’t sure what he was after, she read my conversation.

Friend: “You do realise what the third date means don’t you?”

Me: “No, why?”

The moment when it dawned on me what the third date meant…SEX

Me: “Oh God. I sent him back something which I didn’t realise at the time would be seen sexually! Bugger!”

In an effort to try and rectify my WAY too flirty message, I sent another text…

Me: “Just so you know, if we get to the third date I won’t be putting out so if that’s all you’re talking to me for you may as well stop talking to me now.”

Valentino: “A kiss maybe?”

Me: “Im not ruling out a kiss”

Valentino: “Fingers crossed…”

So I’m still feeling uncomfortable at this point but decide to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The day of the date arrives and he texts me that morning saying he has to postpone as tonight is the only night he can see his niece before christmas.

That’s quite sweet really, may be he’s not such a superficial guy

I’m understanding and we rearrange for two days later. But then the texts come again:

“So do you find me attractive? Why am I not what you’d usually go for? Pj’s or naked? Sex or chocolate?”

He sends me a picture

“So do you still fancy me?”

And by this point I’m thinking this is a bit much. I know hardly anything about this guy, he’s asking me nothing but stupid attractiveness questions, he’s either a player or he’s very self conscious about himself. Either way, thats not someone I want to date.

Valentino: “So what time shall I pick you up at yours?”

HELL NO! You are NOT finding out where I live.

That was the final this really doesn’t feel ok moment. So, he got blocked.

A day later he sends me a message on Match.

“Hey have you blocked me?”

He gets blocked on match.

He finds me on Plenty of Fish.

“Why you being rude and blocking me?”

Me: “To be perfectly honest with you Valentino I don’t think you’re what I’m after and to be blunt you scared me, hence me blocking you. I wish you luck in your search”

Valentino: “If you think I’m scary then you aint worth it and you going to be unhappy and single for a long time”

Me: “Actually, I think I’ll be just fine. And a word of advice, when you ask a girl out how about having a normal conversation with her, find out about her personality, don’t ask about her ex, her dates, or if she’ll kiss you. Don’t be so shallow. Good luck”.


Perhaps I didn’t go about it entirely the right way; I tried to give him a chance to just chat normally but it was a gut instinct and he didn’t seem right at all. They say your gut is never wrong, and it hasn’t let me down so far.

So if anyone has anyone like this in their phonebook you deserve a lot more than that.

Until the next time,

Countrygirl x





One comment

  1. egbertstarr · January 2, 2016

    i love how he drops into “ain’t” and then damns. he just sounded like a bozo interrogator, but it made for some good laughs, eh?

    Liked by 1 person

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