Hold onto your seats for this one, because you’re in for a bumpy ride! (oh, and your brain may explode with all the confusion!)
I’d been on Match.com for about a month or so and I wasn’t having a huge amount of success after my first wave of interest when joining, and following Needy Nasir.
So when a random guy who we shall name Frank (brownie points for whoever can guess why he’s called Frank in the comments below!) sent me a message one lovely Thursday morning I was pleasantly surprised to see his introduction a bit different from the rest. He’d obviously taken the time to read my profile, and instead of the usual “hey, how are you?” boring messages from the man zombies of the online dating world, he caught my attention.
I had a little browse of his profile, looked at his pictures (not what I would have said was my type but he was attractive) and briefly read his blurb. Well all I can say is what I saw, I liked, and we messaged a couple of times that day.
By Friday afternoon, we were messaging more frequently. He gave me his number and we moved onto messaging each other via our phones. Everything he was telling me was making me more interested. He loved films, he socialised with his friends a lot, he was confident, witty, flirty, cheeky, sensitive, intelligent and adventurous; I found myself wanting to know more. Frank asked me what I was doing that evening, and it turned out he was going to the same place I was that night; a trampolining centre with a dodgeball court (SO FUN!). I was also doing Go Ape that Sunday and he just so happened to be at the same woods mountain biking; what are the chances!?
So me being me, I felt this must be fate! I didn’t see him over the course of that weekend but we continued to message, sending funny pictures of each other in our fitness gear ready for our woody adventures (ok that didn’t come out how I meant it to! #innuendo). We joked around and teased each other taking the mickey like we’d been friends for years.
Then after he sent me a picture of his hotel room on the Monday (that probably sounds dodgy it was literally a hotel room) I realised he was going offshore. And he wasn’t going to be back for three weeks!
But this was the first guy I’d been interested in, I mean, really interested in. I hadn’t felt this excited about a potential guy (and hopefully a resulting date) since I had joined ANY dating site. Nay, since I had become single. He was everything I was looking for in someone. So, I decided to invest 3 weeks in him. Then when he got back we could go on a date and see if the chemistry was as good in person as it was on paper (well, on phone paper)
I kept my own life busy, started a new exercise class and went about my own endeavours as I would have had I not known about Frank.
We messaged, sent pictures and sent video messages to each other as though we were face timing each other. I’m not going to lie it was great! I was excited when I saw his name on my phone (he did actually reply quickly), and our messaging soon became so playful we set each other challenges to carry out. We had to mime Frozen songs to each other via a video message (which he actually did), I learnt over 30 seconds of one of the hardest rap songs I have ever come across to video to him (if any of you have heard of Alphabet Aerobics you’ll know what I mean; I learnt up the I’s!) and we set other silly challenges such as skipping tricks.
And after three weeks of messaging pretty much every day I felt like I knew him quite well. I’d told people about him, had shown people the video messages and everyone, including myself, was optimistic. He sent me a video the day he was coming home and he even let me know when he was back. Then, he went completely dark.
“It’s ok” I told myself, “he’s been away for three weeks he probably got people to catch up with, friends and family to see”. “Just give him a few days and wait for him to message you. He’s bound to ask you out seeing as you’ve got on so well and there’s plenty of time still; he’s home for three weeks”. I stayed hopeful, and he did message me after a few days, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. A random video message of him at 2am after having been night riding in the forest.
“OK, at least he’s made contact. Why don’t you play it cool…”
So I responded to what he’d said in the message, told him I figured I’d leave him alone for a few days to settle back in, and hinted about meeting up.
Then he went dark again, this time for an entire week.
I didn’t understand. I’d invested so much time and effort into him, and I felt him, into me (come on, really!? another innuendo!?). I couldn’t fathom 1) why he hadn’t even remotely suggested meeting up or 2) why he wasn’t bothering to message as much anymore. I sought advice as I was in foreign territory, and the resounding message was DO NOT MESSAGE HIM. So I didn’t. And my god it was so hard not to!
That week I kept up with my own life, but all the time was wondering why he’d gone dark. “Maybe he never liked me”, “What’s wrong with me?”, “Maybe he’s got loads of girls on the go”. It was a week of questioning why I wasn’t good enough to deserve to reply.
Then, he messaged again! “Hey sorry for not being too great at replying, I randomly ended up in the Czech Republic! Hope you’re good”. WHAT!? Still not even a how are you? Or a “So I’m back now fancy meeting?”. After deliberations with friends, consulting my dating book, and googling what on earth to do next, I decided to go with this…
” Hey, so this is fun but I’m not looking for a texting buddy. We should meet up. I’m not free this week but I’m free after Sunday and next week”.
Then…you’ll have to wait for Part 2 coming up this week to find out; I’ll be posting towards the end of the week…
Thanks for reading and if anyone has any comments I’d love for you to share your opinions or experiences you’ve had of people like this.
Until the next time,